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Pascal Montjovent's avatar

Thx man, makes sense.

I have the feeling that you already knew - that we all knew - that these principles are fundamental. That's why you "clicked" with this book. Unfortunately, we must cling to celebrities (people who "made it") for us to dare to embrace what should be self-evident. The next question is to ask ourselves why. Why do we need to rely on others to live in harmony with ourselves? After all, it is curiosity, passion, and the pursuit of ideals that make us full-fledged human beings. Isn't it?

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Christian Röpke's avatar

I love your comment, Pascal.

“After all, it is curiosity, passion, and the pursuit of ideals that make us full-fledged human beings. Isn't it?”

I agree 100% with this and this is such a nice summary of the three different points I raised. Didn’t think of it like this before.

“I have the feeling that you already knew - that we all knew - that these principles are fundamental. That's why you "clicked" with this book.”

I believe this is true. If I just think of my own experience it has for sure a lot to do with looking outward (instead of inward). So you want to achieve X (successful business, promotion, ...) and since you don’t have the experience with it, you look to others who have done it. The problem to me is that if we do this we get to be presented with mostly popular opinion.

People like Tony Fadell, Derek Sivers, Sahil Lavingia, Jason Fried are not “mainstream”.

And they are more aligned with the curiosity, passion, ideals approach you mentioned.

I will stop here but such an interesting question.

What do you think: why do we need others to see what we already know?

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Pascal Montjovent's avatar

Thanks Christian for your thoughts.

As humans, our social nature dictates that we seek validation from others. The reassurance that our thoughts and ideals align with those of others gives us a sense of community and acceptance. We tend to look up to others not because we lack understanding of these fundamental principles, but because we are inherently social beings who learn from interaction and mutual understanding.

Yet, this might also have something to do with our fear of the unknown. Seeking alignment with successful individuals provides a comfort blanket, reducing the perceived risk of failure. It's as if their success guarantees ours, making their path seem less uncertain.

Interestingly, this habit could also be seen as a reflection of our internal self-doubt. We often devalue our own wisdom, thinking that those who have 'made it' possess some extraordinary knowledge that we lack. In this process, we sometimes overlook the inherent understanding that we have of these principles.

This human tendency extends to our natural inclination to seek mentors. Role models provide a roadmap to success, helping us envision a clear path toward our goals. Yet, it's crucial that we strike a balance between learning from others and maintaining faith in our own convictions and principles.

Lastly, there's an aspect of requiring tangible proof before fully embracing these principles. They may resonate within us, but our faith in them might not solidify until we witness them in action. Seeing others successfully embody these principles provides the concrete evidence we need.

So, maybe the real question we should be asking isn't why we need others to see what we already know, but how we can trust in our own wisdom while still remaining open to learn from others. After all, what if the mentor we've been seeking is the person we see in the mirror every day?

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Christian Röpke's avatar

Thank you for this detailed answer, I found it very insightful and it stimulated my own thinking:

I think you summarized it really well in the end: “So, maybe the real question we should be asking isn't why we need others to see what we already know, but how we can trust in our own wisdom while still remaining open to learn from others. After all, what if the mentor we've been seeking is the person we see in the mirror every day?”

It is such a fascinating tension that a) we have an inherent need to “unfold” as unique human beings, but b) restrain ourselves out of fear of being pushed out from our communities when we do this.

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Luisa's avatar

You have put words to my experience with A/B testing. Thank yoi.

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